CPSP Project & Policy Officer Mounika Bhukya reflects on a recent film screening of Her Name Was Sita, exploring the concept of a ‘virtuous woman’ and how shame and honour can lead to self-harm and suicide.
*Warning: contains content about self-harm and suicide that some people may find upsetting. Use this link to find an international helpline – www.findahelpline.com*
In a world where societal expectations are often entrenched in culture, tradition, and gender norms, the struggles that women face remain largely unheard.
The tragic reality of self-harm and suicide, especially in rural areas of countries like Nepal and India, is a hidden problem — one that is seldom addressed with the urgency and sensitivity it demands.
Recently, I had the privilege of sharing the short film Her Name Was Sita at the 13th Chennai International Documentary and Short Film Festival.
This powerful film, created by the Centre for Pesticide Suicide Prevention (CPSP), explores the heart-breaking theme of suicide among vulnerable women in Nepal, highlighting the impact of societal expectations and shame.
A girl named “Sita”
At the heart of Her Name Was Sita is the story of a young woman, “Sita”, who succumbs to the overwhelming pressure placed on her by the rigid expectations of society.
These expectations, shaped by patriarchal values, often force women into a corner where their worth is measured by their ability to conform to the roles defined for them—roles of the perfect daughter, the ideal wife, the dutiful mother.
Sita’s story is a reflection of the lives of countless women who, under the weight of such unrealistic societal standards, find themselves hopeless, voiceless, and isolated.
In rural communities, where access to mental health resources is limited and the stigma surrounding mental health issues is profound, women in vulnerable positions may see self-harm as their only escape.
What makes this issue even more painful is that it is deeply intertwined with the toxic cultural norms that devalue women’s lives and, at times, make them feel invisible in their own communities.
What is a ‘good’ woman?
The screening of Her Name Was Sita sparked a powerful conversation among the young women and men who attended.
As the film drew attention to the detrimental effects of societal norms, it resonated deeply with the audience, especially the young girls present at Ethiraj College, where the screening was held.
Many expressed their own struggles with the societal pressures placed on them and acknowledged how they often find themselves trapped by the expectations set by both men and women in their communities.
A key theme that emerged from the discussion was the recognition that women themselves can sometimes become perpetrators of patriarchal discourse. It’s a painful truth that, often, women, having internalised these societal norms, perpetuate the expectations of what a “good” woman should be.
In the discussion, the audience raised poignant questions that cut to the core of this issue:
Who exactly represents society’s values?
Who defines the standards of virtue and “goodness” for women?
Are these ideas so ingrained that they transcend social and cultural boundaries?
One of the most compelling reflections was on the cultural and historical context of these norms, and how women, regardless of whether they live in rural villages or urban cities, face these same patriarchal pressures.
While the specific challenges may vary, the underlying expectation for women to be “ideal” often results in mental distress, feelings of inadequacy, and, tragically, despair.
Women in urban spaces, too, are not immune to the expectations of beauty, success, and submission that society has ingrained in them since childhood.
The larger implications for mental health
The film not only sparked a dialogue about societal expectations but also raised questions about how we categorise mental health struggles, especially in women.
Is the feeling of helplessness that leads to these tragic outcomes simply an individual problem, or should it be seen as a broader public health concern?
The girls in the audience voiced a compelling argument:
Could these moments of extreme distress and helplessness be part of a larger global mental health crisis?
Indeed, the burden of societal oppression, often seen as a byproduct of cultural expectations, is a global phenomenon. As mental health experts discussed, many cases of female suicide, particularly in rural areas, cannot be divorced from the social structures that silence women.
These suicides are not just a response to personal turmoil but a response to the abusive and oppressive conditions that women face in their families and communities.
As the discussion unfolded, it became increasingly clear that there is a pressing need for society to acknowledge these root causes. The stigma surrounding mental health, particularly for women, needs to be dismantled.
Only by addressing the social determinants of mental health—such as gender inequality, societal expectations, and lack of mental health resources—can we begin to heal these deep societal wounds.
The path forward
Her Name Was Sita is more than just a film, it’s a call to action.
By shedding light on the psychological and emotional toll that societal expectations take on women, the film emphasises the urgent need for public awareness, policy change, and a re-evaluation of cultural norms. The responses from the audience at the screening were encouraging, showing that young people are ready to question and challenge the status quo.
But this is only the beginning.
For real change to take place, we must continue to speak out about the oppressive conditions that women face.
Policymakers, mental health experts, and society at large must recognise the importance of creating safe spaces for women to express their struggles, to challenge the rigid definitions of womanhood, and to have access to resources that address mental health concerns.
We must work together to combat the pervasive toxic norms that silently harm women and lead to devastating consequences.
Ultimately, Her Name Was Sita offers a glimpse into the lives of women trapped by unrealistic expectations, but it also provides hope. It shows that through awareness, open discussion, and a shift in perspective, we can begin to create a society where women’s lives are valued, where their voices are heard, and where their mental health is prioritised.
As a society, we must ask ourselves: What are we doing to dismantle the cultural, societal, and mental health barriers that contribute to this cycle of pain?
And how can we, together, create a world where women, no matter where they live, no longer feel that they must bear the weight of these unrealistic expectations.
Mounika Bhukya
Project & Policy Officer, Centre for Pesticide Suicide Prevention (CPSP)
Mounika is a public policy professional with experience in research, policy making, management, and evaluation. She has worked on various macro level policies in Health, Agriculture and Education sectors with the Federal and Central Government of India. She has extensive experience in government partnerships and project implementation in the development sector and has previously worked with global organisations like UN Habitat, JPAL, IIHS and Indo-German Centre for Sustainability.
Further information
Her Name Was Sita is a film by Heshani Sothiraj Eddleston for the Centre for Pesticide Suicide Prevention. It was released in 2023 and has been shared through global film screenings. As of March 2025, it has been shortlisted for five international film festivals.
READ: Her Name Was Sita … why I made this film
WATCH: The trailer for Her Name Was Sita *content warning: suicide*